Christyl Ann Boger left us suddenly on Father's Day, June 17, 2018.
(this was read aloud at her memorial service the following Sunday, June 24, 2018)
Thank you
for coming today. Chris was the light of
my life, and I am sorry but I have no voice today. But there is something that
I want you to know.
Watch out for the words “If I had
only …”
“If I had only” called her a
little more often, or written, or visited, or shot her a text or an email, or
dropped by the studio, or hugged her, or just “if I had only” been
there…. Please be quiet in your heart
for a moment, and listen very carefully.
Trust me. Each time you catch
yourself thinking “If I had only…” remember this. You did.
You did, daily.
I was the
most intimate partner Chris ever had. She confessed this to me often: You helped Chris, countless, countless
times. She loved and cherished each of
you deeply. You never failed her; in
fact, you kept her going. If she were
here, she would hug you and look at you with those beautiful grey-blue eyes and
tell you the same thing. You know
I am right. She would. Why? Because Chris’ memories of the fun times
you had together were what truly carried her along. Christy’s battle was hard. Every day, I raced home from work to hold her
close so she could tell me what was present in her heart that day. Countless times, her stories were stories of
you.
Depression
is a lot like walking on ice. We stand
close, and take each other’s elbow, step as carefully as we know how, and still
suddenly - without warning and in spite of our best efforts - we might fall
anyway. It is not anyone’s fault that Chris
is gone. She slipped on that ice and it
took her from us, that is all.
She told me
something else once which will help you:
When someone you love is gone and you feel despair or guilt, just ask
yourself this question. If they were
here, and you told them you were so, so sorry, what would they say? You know how Chris would have answered you.
Thank each
precious one of you for helping keep her with us for all these years.
-- John Burgoon, adoring husband
